Not that long ago, I was having lunch with a friend. Almost immediately after we sat down to spend time together, she offered her opinion around the timeline of my book’s launch. It was candid – and negative.
I immediately replied that I had not considered the point she was bringing to my attention. This friend then concluded in a condescending way that I was way too analytical. I tried to share my perspective with her – that I have worked hard to do the emotional work to wake up and better understand life is much sweeter in shades of grey and rarely – if ever – simply black and white. She chortled snidely again – “You need to stop being so analytical.”
Noted. And thank you for your perspective.
Here’s my two cents.
You know what, I used to believe that – that I was analytical, and that that was a bad thing. Lots of different people from different parts of my personal and professional life have said that to me.
And you know what – it’s true – I absolutely am highly analytical. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. My analytical brain is precisely the reason why and how I have not just survived in today’s corporate sales world – but thrived. My brain is always cranking, working, thinking, creating. And that’s precisely the reason why and how I have been able to write my first book that’s coming out in just a couple of months; a book that was fast-tracked for publication by the publisher.
I like my analytical self, but I’m like anybody though – there are days those analytical gears won’t fucking stop. It can drive other people crazy. Hell, it drives me crazy sometimes. But, you know, that’s my truth. As much of a challenge as it can be sometimes, I love that I have found my gift of writing, and that gift is supported by my analytical brain – and vice versa.
It’s an analytical brain that won’t settle for status quo – never has, never will.
A few weeks ago, I was having coffee with a girlfriend. Almost immediately, I dropped an f-bomb or two; she reared her head back, coming back down with a disappointed face and as if she was my mom. She then said, “You really need to clean up your potty mouth.”
For the first time in my life, I replied, “ummmm, no; I do not.” I continued. “In a few months, I am going to be fifty-fucking-one years old. I am a grown-ass woman. If I want to say fuck, and say it often, I can and I will. If it is offensive to you, feel free to choose not to spend time with me. Furthermore, I have respected your wishes as a parent, and I have not uttered one potty word around your children in forever. So….”
She was a bit shocked.
Once I made my case for my potty mouth, my friend relaxed, nodded and, agreed as if to say, you’ve got a valid point. “There are kids behind you,” she then said. Thank you for letting me know. They can pick up and move should they not want their kids in earshot of me.
I credit Brene Brown in her book Braving the Wilderness for making me realize it is okay to be authentically me. If we succumb to not being authentically ourselves, then who the hell are we? I am just me. No more apologies.
Where are you stopping yourself from being authentically you? Is someone shaming you and or criticizing something that is uniquely and truly you? Do they make you feel you need to lose part of your authentic self? Bullshit. You don’t. It is time to be unapologetically and authentically YOU.